digital gold dust

keys

2009-09-08T13:41:00.008-05:00

My lonely little blog! For starters let me say i had no idea anyone was even reading it...

Also let me say that i have been having a hard time even thinking about what to write. So many styles of blogs out there in the inner-web...homeschooling, family day to day, informative. None of these really appeal to me. I stopped because i did not want to write about my kids and unschooling every time. I felt that may be expected. So i have decided to do a little experiment...how about writing about some of the various things that i am interested in, the things that i think about, listen to, read about? I guess this is the point of a blog but i felt compelled to keep it in the family region. I'm also not happy with the layout and look but am sorely computer ignorant in this area...sigh...

So after that intro, on with it...

keys.

I've always been fascinated by the archetypal image of keys. They symbolize mystery or knowledge, thus the phrase "that's the key question." They unlock things, places, secrets...some pretty, some horrifying. They can also keep things locked away. Skeletons in the closet. I started thinking about keys after reading and watching Coraline with the boys. If you are not familiar with the writings of Neil Gaiman, recommended. That may be another post. There's some very interesting fairy tales and folktales where the heroine gets in a bit of trouble for opening doors she shouldn't, and for that reason should. My favorite is Bluebeard. The key in that story opens a terrible secret but ultimately saved her life. This story inspires us to answer our own set of key questions...what lays behind me? what is ahead?

Images of keys speak to us on a very deep level, starting from the time we are children. We are all familiar with giving babies teething keys and the fascination they have with adult keys. Could be they are trying to unlock the mysteries of the adult world, the mysteries of being incarnated on this planet...play can be a very spiritual thing.

The ability to ask any and all questions about oneself, life, family, endeavours....to be willing to open the doors that need to be unlocked. To collect the keys of our life. To look into the closets of our minds that need to be examined. To follow the thread, get to the heart of the matter, strip it down to the bones...scary images, but oh so neccesary for a full life.

And that's Coraline...not Caroline. Insist on giving things and people their proper names.

so far

2009-05-05T16:24:00.010-05:00

what have we done with ourselves this week?....so far.

Monday was a chill, relaxed sort of day. Micah and i worked on our wall pocket chart. The idea is to have a visual showing the days of the week, month and date. We also added "what's the weather?" and season cards, as well as a letter of the day and color of the day for River's benefit.

Micah wanted to get out all the flash card collections after that and we played a noun/adjective game of our own creation with some word family cards. Basically making up oral sentences and naming the noun or adjective in each one. I would throw in a verb for good measure. Micah rocked it 99% of the time.

One thing leads to another, so then Micah wanted to go to the library to check out Schoolhouse Rock Grammar Rock. We got some more Captain Underpants while we were there. This hilarious little series has really kicked his reading to a new level.

Errands, recycling, grocery store (well WalMart in this part of the country) rounded out the day. There was also books read, DVDs watched, chores done or started, computer games played (Micah is kicking butt on Poptropica, another big boost to his emerging reading skills).

Just a typical Monday.

Today was work and fun in the sun. We all went to bed earlier than usual last night, and so we got up earlier than usual this morning. Chad was home with us today, and we immediately set to work conquering the nature in our back and front yards. Mowing, weeding, transplanting ferns and irises, cutting down many little saplings around the yard, trimming the dead branches from the redbud tree, raking, watering, digging, burning, composting.

River was right behind us doing his share in between throwing himself into piles of wet leaves and doing his best to escape our watchful eye. I took some time to go on a little stroller walk and a bike ride. Micah stayed indoors playing Poptropica and watching whatever it is he watches on YouTube. Getting that child to play outside is a daily struggle...one i have mostly abandoned. Say, "hey want to go to the park?" and he will jump at the opportunity. But play in his own backyard?....i worry that he may be the typical 21st century "plugged" kid.

Inside for more chores and lunch and Captain Underpants. River continued the ongoing saga in his head with the nearly massive Thomas train collection. Then Micah went to the occupational therapy he has on Tuesday and Friday afternoons...didn't go so well. I noticed some droopy eyes and big yawns while reading with him this afternoon so i'm sure tiredness was affecting his ability to pay attention.

Today is Cinco de Mayo and our unofficial anniversary. We celebrate the date we learned we were pregnant with Micah. So it will be mexican food later and Coronas with lime.

Spending the day outside has aggravated my allergies, and with River taking a late nap, i may be in for a tumultuous evening. we'll see.

This is how we spend our days, give or take. Simple and lazily busy.

family

2009-04-30T19:49:00.014-05:00

A funny thought occurred to me the other day concerning the word family, and all the images and connotations that the word engenders. What is a family? Is a family merely a group of people thrown together on the whims of genetics, without choice, learning to live and get along with one another?

Or are we somehow meant to share our lives with the people we share a home with on some higher level? Do we learn from one another and grow as people? Is there some special significance in the private struggles unique to our family situation? Would our life be any less or any more without these people? Is there any way to know the answer?

If I can ask a question, i feel as though i can answer it as well. Maybe not tonight, but someday...someday i may understand what it is about my unique little family that was important in the bigger story of my life. Someday i may look at my grown children and the lives they create for themselves, good or ill, and think back to these fleeting moments of childhood and see the connections.

There are moments where i feel as though these people living with me are complete strangers, thoughts and feelings alien to me, closed off and unreachable. Other days, i am in sync with my children and husband as if we knew each from before time. The balance tips one way or the other in an unpredictable fashion, sometimes daily. There's always a breath of gratitude to Whatever is in charge during those good moments.

The big question i struggle with lately? Do i have any control? As a person with the title Mom, am i expected to set the tone? Or am i merely along for the ride? At the mercy of genetics and fate? Moment by moment, day by day...who or what determines the final cohesiveness of a family?

Lots of questions, and i suspect that there are answers for all of them. And what better place than a little family of four to share, struggle, and strive for the answers...and to keep asking the questions?

beginnings

2009-04-28T20:18:00.005-05:00

I have wanted to create a blog from the second i heard of blogs. Always life and more pressing matters attracted my attention.

Tonight, I have managed what thousands are already doing. I have created a blog!! I'm still having a hard time figuring out what sort of entitlement i feel i have that people should read my thoughts, but maybe that will work itself out.

I am an unschooling and attachment parent, and though i will post some of the day to day of my family life, it's not in my personality to limit the definition of myself - and so my hope is that the posts here will meander and deviate and i will be able to show the depth of my thoughts.

I am also a very private person and have more than a little ambivalence about even sharing so much of myself in this medium. Creativity can be a risky business, and keeping a blog feels to me a little risky, because the potential for too much self disclosure is there. Also the potential for ego. And yet an avenue for creativity and journey just the same.

So i take as my mantra for this endeavour, hobby, passing craze a quote from W.A. Mathieu's The Listening Book...
"the problem is how to be open enough and safe enough at the same time."

Thank you for reading and welcome to my digital gold dust!

~peace